Why tf is gay so hard?

I just *can't* seem to figure myself out?? Just today, I was just chillin, talkin to a friend when I suddenly had a realization: I don't think I've ever had an *actual* crush since elementary school, even then it was just one person. I've definitely yet to experience actually being in love with someone. Anyone I ever thought I liked, I later realized was just a platonic obsession because I get attached to people REALLY easily. Even people I ended up dating, I just went along with out of fear of making things awkward combined with my uncomfortableness with saying no. And of course, the classic "what if" mindset I always have. In the end, we came to the conclusion I'm likely demi/greyromantic. I was already possibly greysexual, so might as well add. I took years to realize I was even trans but when I did, I thought I finally had it figured out: Pansexual transmasc, but then the greysexual came in, followed by the realization I might just be mlm gay (still tryna figure that one out), and now this. It's just so much-- Like my friend Cloud said, "We live in a heteronormative society where being lgbt and those identities aren’t really talked about so young queer people struggle to figure themselves out in a society that oppresses information about them and their culture."