Symbolism - scrapped poem #3 JAN 12 -24

| table of contents :

↳ Original Notebook pages

↳ Symbolism - poem

↳ Backstory

♡

♡

My friends always found it silly,

they didn't understand how

I could be so entranced with you.

your eyes such a powerful hypnotic,

smile a reward to whomever you direct it to

who wouldn't be?

every bit of your being represents the image

of what I associate with an angel.

the color of your eyes

represent my favorite crystal.

your mesmerizing voice,

how my name sounds falling from your lips

I never liked the birthname i was given.

because it didn't feel like mine.

but for a second you made it okay, bearable.

for a moment, you made me *love* it.

because I loved *you*

I've been blessed enough to have met you in my life

been the one you've once spoken to with that voice

been the one you've looked at with those eyes

been the one whose made you laugh with my stupid jokes

been the one you've held hands with

I'm quite content to know I once existed in the presence of you

because not everyone gets to,

but I did.

and even though my feelings are unrequited and unknown,

I'm okay with it.

because I quite like the secret,

knowing my feelings for you will always be mine and mine only to know the depths of.

and maybe in some masochistic way,

I like how bittersweet it feels

in a way, I like that you'll never truly know about my feelings

you could get my everything with just one word

but you won't and never will

and that's okay.

so please,

let me have this secret.

people always call it "missed opportunities",

but I find as much comfort in it as I find pain.

it's comforting to imagine something that could've been

it's comforting to live in a dream,

in the what could've beens.

I feel calm.

I feel like I've said goodbye to you,

even though we barely even said hello in the first place

it's a feeling of bittersweet yearning

you'll be my poetic secret

my first real love

you rolled me my first cigarette

and that very night I swore I'd never tell you

and I was at peace with it.

there will never be anything between us.

...

you rolled me my first cigarette

talk about symbolism

♡

sooo you were probably able to tell by the poem, i was hopelessly in love :sob: :sob:

we met in 2022, i fell for her on the first days we met and spent together. we talked and held hands and laughed and bleughh i wrote a lot of diary pages and songs after that weekend

wee met at a camp, then we only saw each other and talked briefly if we bumped into each other at the same events, andd now weve been in the same school for two years

I never told her how i felt, i never will, andd A little over a year ago she started dating this guy and they've been together since, theyre doing good as far as im aware. i wish them all the best (though the dudes an ass)

This is Entry #3 of my scrapped poems :sparkling_heart: