Trigger warning: extremely dark, disturbing and reader discretion is mandatory.
I do not own the images.
This is by far the most disturbing thing i have ever written.
I still to this day cannot figure out what the hell was going through my head when i wrote this years ago... But want to know the most messed up part?
It was an assignment for a class to create something from a theme.
The theme was colour brown.
I shit you not.
So now, read and... Don't say i didn't warn you.
True Reflection
That time when everything changed;
The one instant of truth that I saw about myself through the one reflection that does not lie.
I yearn to see it again,
and again,
and again.
Why?
...Because it is the one moment I truly know myself.
My life was what others would envy;
Money,
Cars,
Women,
I was known and ired...
... Yet it was not what I truly sought,
it was all merely what I had been taught to seek.
All my life, I was raised to be something that I never wanted to be.
My father, strict and stern, not seeing me as the son I was but wished he had.
My mother, quiet and meek, never trying to stand up and be herself.
To escape from it all, others and myself, I knew what needed to be done.
The mask I would wear, to become anyone but me.
Obedient son, to please my father.
Gentle child, to ease my mother.
Yet even now, with both of them gone...
... The mask is still on, never to be gone.
I no longer know, what is behind the mask?
I cannot take it off, for I no more know how.
Only in my relfection before the great mirror on the wall,
do I briefly see what I am trying to hide;
An unknown need, since when I do not know;
Haunting,
Wanting,
Longing,
Craving...
It consumes me, never letting me go.
Burning my mind, corroding my heart...
... Yet I know not,
What it is that I want.
No one knows it but me,
Shown in my reflection on the great mirror on the wall.
Until her...
I met her, gentle and warm,
With her my days were filled with more;
More than that flawed reflection from the great mirror on the wall.
I wanted her, more than all.
That soft skin,
Those gentle hands,
The soothing words,
Her fire red hair...
... The brown eyes, calling me to her.
Days had ed, months had come.
Then that night, I laid with her in my bed, my mind numb and my body burning.
The unknown need, I now knew, what it was that I had craved to do.
She's sound asleep, happy and peaceful...
... and I love her, for helping me find what I truly sought.
I know not, when this began.
But this is the night, when I truly begin.
I am above her, whispering my love.
As well as my regret, for what will be done.
My hands on her throat, squeezing with might.
Her struggles for life, filled with fright.
Life ebbs away, my hands let go.
The love that I feel, will never let go.
At this moment, when all has changed.
My mask falls away, myself unchained.
The brown eyes, reflecting me.
They do not lie, what I see is me.
I see myself, all that is me.
As well as the monster, that I would be.
THE END
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